And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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