I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
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some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.