Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight

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(718): 3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight http://tfl.nu/iyeq

Replies (3) Good night (1362) Bad night (2282)
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(231): View more from Michigan

i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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(231): i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future. http://tfl.nu/hfoa

Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (1294)
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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e

Replies (25) Good night (5012) Bad night (576)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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(781): I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step http://tfl.nu/hwjf

Replies (24) Good night (3354) Bad night (565)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.

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(636): I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks. http://tfl.nu/gzvr

Replies (40) Good night (1038) Bad night (4435)
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(909): View more from California

Would you still love me if I had no teeth

(1-909): View more from California

Yeah why?

(909): View more from California

Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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(909): Would you still love me if I had no teeth (1-909): Yeah why? (909): Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone http://tfl.nu/a6a1

Replies (34) Good night (1438) Bad night (11743)
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(631): View more from New York

Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

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(631): Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up? http://tfl.nu/k005

Replies (56) Good night (6575) Bad night (1356)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj

Replies (18) Good night (6686) Bad night (1167)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt

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(203): the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt http://tfl.nu/wx0v

Replies (7) Good night (2188) Bad night (1491)
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(212): View more from New York

Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?

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(212): Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help? http://tfl.nu/19hc

Replies (7) Good night (1726) Bad night (703)
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(801): View more from Utah

Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.

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(801): Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard. http://tfl.nu/rl99

Replies (9) Good night (2366) Bad night (736)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(218): His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place. (612): His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants. http://tfl.nu/9orv

Replies (8) Good night (826) Bad night (1231)
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(818): View more from California

Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.

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(818): Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy. http://tfl.nu/efkg

Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (246)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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(814): I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's. http://tfl.nu/kzl8

Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (267)
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(541): View more from Oregon

the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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(541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu

Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (427)

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