all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It was confusing and full of hummus
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.