And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment