Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important