Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17523) Bad night (1347)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (760) Bad night (7374)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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  (630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7
  Replies (5) Good night (5854) Bad night (1785)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

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  (618): It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days. http://tfl.nu/kqbj
  Replies (9) Good night (1580) Bad night (3355)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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  (217): he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids http://tfl.nu/l2up
  Replies (12) Good night (1218) Bad night (4624)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.

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  (541): I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea. http://tfl.nu/3k5t
  Replies (11) Good night (1223) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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  (484): Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME" http://tfl.nu/xsgw
  Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.

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  (248): No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again. http://tfl.nu/jvet
  Replies (7) Good night (1178) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark

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  (780): I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark http://tfl.nu/gkqi
  Replies (8) Good night (1013) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?

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  (248): My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes? http://tfl.nu/xjpv
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

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  (570): The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate http://tfl.nu/e7xr
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (448): View more from

  My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today

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  (448): My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today http://tfl.nu/if8s
  Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.

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  (808): Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out. http://tfl.nu/dk9u
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.

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  (907): I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/x7n5
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (230)

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