just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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