Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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