They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
