i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
