i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
