Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
