Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize