Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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