im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
