i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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