we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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