Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
