He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
