I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
