i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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