if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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