he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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