In the future we'll all be gay
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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