I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
