Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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