Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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