You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
