In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Your penis caused this!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
