Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
