the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
