I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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