if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
