ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
