My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
