I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
