Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
