Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
