it's too hot outside to masturbate.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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