im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
