Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We need to rekindle our bromance
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
