New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
