She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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