Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
