Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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