You really coming over, don't trick.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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