You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
