TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
