Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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