Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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