I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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