Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
