Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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