Sry I called you an 8
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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