Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
