thus making me awesome and them whores
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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