i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
