I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
