You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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