I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
