imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
