Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
