You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize