'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
