you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
