It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
