my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize