Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
