I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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