my vag is so smooth its legendary
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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