I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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